Recently, my girlfriend has been pressing that I convert to Judaism, whether it be Reformed or more traditional. They started crying saying that their "name" in the community will be destroyed and if I have kids, the kids will suffer and be confused on what religion they follow. An ex girlfriend doesn’t want you to try to explain all the things you’ve learned and changed. In a similar manner, my girlfriend completely respects my beliefs and is openly against enforcing any of her beliefs onto me. Would they care? But she says no. How did you face it? Having said that, I dont think this viewpoint that her family will never accept you is necessarily true. 1 decade ago. If you base a huge part of your marriage on a lie you are putting a curse on yourself. However, this doesn't change the fact that I love her now, and I'd like to be with her if possible. I do not share her faith, but I have nothing but the upmost respect for it. You will never be officially married in their eyes if you don’t convert though. and. If you end up marrying this person, then it seems that you will be expected to participate in various family events where religious ceremonies play a part. His parents actually were very understanding too. Question. My girlfriend wants to get married and is willing to convert and her parents are totally cool with it. The same with her. Therefore she will also have that in mind from an early stage. You're basically try to use a loophole to be with her, where you really don't truly care about your standpoint. Have any of you been through this peculiar dilemma? Older Posts Home. A day after the wife of late music director Wajid Khan took to Twitter to narrate her ordeal in an inter-faith marriage, she has now spoken in details about the ill-treatment meted out to her by her in-laws and husband for not converting to Islam. TLDR; To marry my girlfriend and have kids with her without alienating her from her family I need to convert to Islam. Kamalrukh Khan, a Parsi by faith, had married her college sweetheart Wajid Khan after 10 years of courtship. In the end, I chose honesty. My gut feeling is no - however, it would be a sort of token conversion (seeing as I don't believe in it, I'm essentially saying a few words). He is also non religious, and I believe in God but I believe organized religion just controls people. She isn't gonna choose you and your relationship over her family. Wir und unsere Partner nutzen Cookies und ähnliche Technik, um Daten auf Ihrem Gerät zu speichern und/oder darauf zuzugreifen, für folgende Zwecke: um personalisierte Werbung und Inhalte zu zeigen, zur Messung von Anzeigen und Inhalten, um mehr über die Zielgruppe zu erfahren sowie für die Entwicklung von Produkten. Relevance. And when your kids are born, will you lie to them about all this too, and pretend you believe? Since I'm not muslim, a lot of her family would shun us. Islam isn't just one thing. They might be reluctant at first but be patient. You don't. It sounds rather unfair. - Q&A - Sh. Try and focus on educating yourself about the religious aspects of arabic culture. She tries to convince her mother that this is for the best. You must also keep in mind that in Islam, it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. Her faith is clearly important for her, but she definitely practices it in a less conservative fashion (does not wear headscarf for instance) than some others might. Resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband: Kamalrukh Khan “An educated, thinking, independent woman with an opinion was just not acceptable. If I convert to Islam, how should I deal with my parents? If she truly loves you, it's up to her to fight for you, and she would if she sees the future working out eventually. (Another solution would be for her to disband her family. She doesn't dedicate her life to religion either and spends most of her Friday evenings eating BBQ with myself and my family. This website is for people of various faiths who seek to understand Islam and Muslims. 1 decade ago. I'm not happy about her being an islamist. When Bogart Lamprey told his family that he converted to Islam, they were not impressed; in fact, they feared he was joining ISIS. She doesn't dedicate her life to religion either and spends most of her Friday evenings eating BBQ with myself and my family. Even if I am not Muslim, I'd be willing to make an effort to change some of my habits, out of solidarity for my significant other, not out of religious pressure. Of course, I've never heard of someone being pressured to convert to … I love her a lot, and breaking up would emotionally handicap me for months. I think it sort of depends on how devout and serious her family is about Islam, in particular, how much effort you're going to have to make to fit their standard of what it means to convert. It depends on how much you want to be with her. Rationally, we'd both like to further our relationship. In other words, I feel as though converting to Islam without believing in God would be disrespectful. She's never expressed any religious views before. I'd be lying to myself, but, most importantly, I'd be lying to others. Answer Save. We've known this fact since the beginning of the relationship, and have been putting it off for later. I suppose that does limit you from starting a bacon flavored whiskey company, since they'd find out about that, but it's not like her family is going to force you to wear a body cam so they can monitor you 24/7 to make sure you're really following everything. I am currently debating whether or not I should take the next step. {Fred Jausenge} It is good to follow your parents’ advice but not when it is based on false information. Islamic Girls Name. Nevertheless, there's a snag. The problem is that we are in love, however there is a law in Islam that she isn’t allowed to marry me as I am not muslim. TLDR; To marry my girlfriend and have kids with her without alienating her from her family I need to convert to Islam. My girlfriend is muslim and while not a devout believer it is still a large part of her life, especially with her family relationships. Converting a Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Christianity. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. A Muslim girl will usually have marriage in mind as an endgame from an early stage. Think of it in the family's shoes. Converting a Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Christianity. My girlfriend wants me to convert to Islam Dear Counselor, I am in love with a very woman who has all the qualities I have always dreamt of and I always feel that I hit a jackpot with her. Posted by ltd2 • September 19, 2012 • Printer-friendly. My problem is that in Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man – any marriage which takes place is invalid. Monika has converted to Islam. Dazu gehört der Widerspruch gegen die Verarbeitung Ihrer Daten durch Partner für deren berechtigte Interessen. If you are a true believer of Islam and ALLAH SWT, you would never think about it. She didn't tell us of his existence and left with him one day never to be seen for many years. Don't convert but keep showing respect and curiosity for her culture. Resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband: Kamalrukh Khan “An educated, thinking, independent woman with an opinion was just not acceptable. I can't move in with her unless we were married. My boyfriend is Christian and 100% sure he does not want to convert… It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. That's what would be running through my head if I had to make a decision like this. My Girlfriend Worships The Devil @Hodgetwins - Duration: 6:59. But is it a dumpable offence? The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. They had no problem with us dating publicly and I was included in many family events, but with the understanding that we would eventually get married and I would at least convert as a formality. I have had two girlfriends both of who were Muslims (from different sectors) . She never really informed me of how serious it was until recently and its all come at once, how on earth was I supposed to know!? I don't force him to go to anything he doesnt want to. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. You would probably have to learn to pray and at least look like you know what you're doing/talking about when with them. Demands to convert to Islam. There are varieties that are as liberal as Christian Unitarians or Quakers. It's not really an issue. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 6 years now and we both have a strong love for each other, which was instant from the first time we met. However, we both knew from the start that it would be almost impossible for us to be together and have normal life (marriage, kids etc) without me being a Muslim. Für nähere Informationen zur Nutzung Ihrer Daten lesen Sie bitte unsere Datenschutzerklärung und Cookie-Richtlinie. But making someone to convert for you is pretty unfair. However, there is one problem. We have been having a 'clean' relationship now for about ten years and now we are thinking of getting married. I personally don’t respect any man who gives up their religion for a woman. Demands to convert to Islam. I'm agnostic, and it doesn't sit well with me. Tell them about your intentions, that you love her, that you will take care of her. We have been dating for over 2 years and so far respected each other's beliefs. Talk to her family. I respect those who try to integrate to cultures or religions and be tolerant. My Girlfriend Worships The Devil @Hodgetwins - Duration: 6:59. She seems keen on it. Should I slam on the brakes before this thing? I am 26 years old and a only child. This article explains how to convert and become a Muslim in a simple way. I am arabic, and so is my family. However, we're at a point (1.5 years into the relationship) where it could only continue if I converted to Islam for us to get married. Sie können Ihre Einstellungen jederzeit ändern. When we met the man my sister lived with, many years later (he wasn't the guy she went with, but another man she met after she separated from the first guy), we liked him. Should I dump my girlfriend for converting to Islam? Should I break up with a girlfriend or boyfriend if they reject Jesus Christ? If not, I'll just take the negative, that works too. Your decision to convert/revert to Islam should be based on knowledge, certainty, acceptance, submission, truthfulness, and sincerity. If you give in here, this won't be the last time her and her family get in the middle of your relationship. and. Can I commit to this lie for 30+ years? Also, she knows that I feel uncomfortable with conversion, does not put any pressure on me whatsoever, and is willing to wait patiently until I decide. Popular Post. Islam has many rules, regarding marriage and interfaith. in islam there`s no relationship such as boyfriend or girlfriend ... and islam says no one can maried non-Muslim, that means anyone who does not believe Allah is only one God. My girlfriend is a Malaysian Muslim and I am catholic, not very devout if i’m honest but I do have my own beliefs. This white lie comes with more strings attached, more expectations attached. I presented him with the same dilemma and he made the decision to go for it. Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. If someone is pressuring you to convert to Islam—for example a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend, remind him or her that according to Islamic law, a conversion without inner conviction is morally meaningless and religiously invalid. They'll eventually figure it out, don't you think? The Vows in an Islamic Ceremony . Which is simply not a solution for either of us.). You can convert for marriage and then go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing. My gut feeling is no - however, it would be a sort of token conversion (seeing as I don't believe in it, I'm essentially saying a few words). Alcohol for example. Beware though, some points might arise where you won't agree. I have been a muslim all my life and I have done some terrible things in my that has cause some great distress in my life. The truth is you can't start a huge lie just because it happens to be convenient. I’m trying to figure this out right now too. The rules of the religion do not allow any marriage unless the man agrees to convert to Islam. I am posting this in order to gain people's point of views and opinion on the matter. The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. I agree!!! Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. She is of Muslim faith. Monika has converted to Islam. Please don’t judge me, however I’m uneducated on the religion so I need guidance. How can I even make that decision for myself at 20 years old? My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. But making someone to convert for you is pretty unfair. My girlfriend isn't happy with that and has implied that our relationship would have to end if I didn't convert. My girlfriend's a muslim and I have no problem with this. respectful of you, attracted, in love) around you from now on. Lv 4. What was the result? Well if you want to be with her, then convert. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. As-Salamu `alaykum. Of course, I've never heard of someone being pressured to convert …